Shamus O'Tool and the Snowmobile

SAD, SAD event took place just outside of St. John's this week. I was talking to one of my Newfie buddy's, Nick O'Brian today and he was telling me about another fine fellow I met while visiting last summer. A fellow by the name of Shamus O'Tool. If Shamus lived down here, I imagine most folks would call him Bubba. Big ole, good hearted fellow.

Shamus had been wanting a snowmobile for the last few years and what with working up in Toronto in a meat packing plant and as a bouncer in the Kitty Kat Klub bar and grill, he had managed to put away enough to finally make his big purchase. Shamus moved back to St. John's last week and just two days ago bought the most beautiful snowmobile you could imagine. It had a windshield, backrest, AM/FM radio, CD player, heated handlebars, heated seat, heated footrests, V8 motor and a 4-in-the-floor, double clutching syncromesh transmission, with overdrive. Guaranteed to go from 0 to 8 KPH in 1.3 seconds flat. The boys from the Snowmobile Sales Emporium drove up to the appointed meeting place and Mick and about 15 other fellows were there to wish Samus well and see him make his first trip. Shamus would't even let the sales people drive it off the trailer. He said he could manage it himself. He plunked into the seat and got his helmet on and the earphones just right, so he could listen to Whatshisname and the other Fellers, while he was cruising. He kicked the starter over and she fired up with a roar.

Now, I need to mention one thing right about here. When Shamus started wanting a Skidoo, he was still kinda skinny, but by the time he got it, he weighed in at about 436 pounds (lot's of calories in Beer ya know). Well anyway, Shamus popped the clutch and came off the trailer with a screech of rubber and before he got to the end of the driveway was going about 98 KPH. He had a rooster tail of snow flaring up about 40 feet high and 100 feet long. Here is where the unfortunate part comes in. He failed to make the turn at the end of the drive and went straight into a huge snow drift. Now, Shamus was so heavy that the snowmobile couldn't ride on top of the snow and he disappeared from sight into the snow. The boys were able to keep track of him for awhile from the sound of the motor, but finally track of him. They have been looking and digging for the past 2 days, and boys, it ain't looking very good for Shamus.